Brand Names

Daniel

Okay, I actually had a napkin full of notes for a longwinded post tonight, but something happened that takes precedence –

ESPN.com has a new design!

(Again!)

I think that the actual logo looks a little plain, but I like the shadow effect and the way the top story is displayed. I also like the fact that they kept some things the same … Seamless tabs. Very nice. And ESPN Motion? Somebody get me a freaking broadband connection. If at some point in the future I have my own broadband connection, I may again make ESPN.com my homepage. If it’s seriously TV meets Internet … hoo boy.

So what was I going to post tonight. First, a small topic I want to hit on. Okay, my parents have DirecTV, and it gives us both East Coast and West Coast feeds of the four major networks. So I’m watching a Los Angeles station earlier tonight and the local news promos a story called “Best Hotel Pool in Vegas.”

Think about that for a minute.

Is there ANY real news worth reporting? I guess CNN covers it all … Anyway, it got me thinking – since national news isn’t worth covering, maybe I should do a “Best Back Yard in Allegany” story/competition. I mean, it would be completely biased, and I would probably openly accept bribes. My parents’ own back yard would definitely be a finalist. But they kind of have a scenic yard rather than a football yard. So this got me thinking about the old Back Yard Football League (BYFL) and Back Yard Soccer League (BYSL) from high school. (Damn … I’ve been away from RIT too long.) I don’t really want to elaborate further, but I might if someone asks me to. I’ll say this: my team was the “F’in Wankers.” We had shirts made up.

On to the main story. Brand names. This theory is open to review, but I have three categories of brand names:

1. Brands that have become synonymous with their product. Band Aid. Alka-Seltzer. Reynolds Wrap. Saran Wrap. Kleenex. Band Aid commercials now actually say “Band Aid Brand adhesive bandages.” It’s akward, but it’s possesive.
2. Brand names drawn directly from the purpose, origin, or form of their products. Life Savers. Clorox. WD-40. Pepsi. Coca-Cola. Kleenex again. Band Aid again.
3. And then there are newer brands. I started thinking about this post when I saw a Swiffer ad. It’s kind of in a tough spot. It’s revolutionary for what it is, yet it’s in a genre of products that are entrenched in this 1930s – 40s – 50s culture. The look of the ads falls pretty much right in line with what you’d expect. If you’d never seen a Swiffer ad or a Mr. Clean ad before, you probably wouldn’t think that one was any more remarkable than the other. But Swiffer needed a name to both fit in and stand out. I try to think of it as a brand name that is drawn from its purpose, origin, or form. Do you use it to “swiff” the floor? Does it look like something that “swiffs”? Does it come from a “swiff”? I don’t know. “Swiffer” is very abstract. It only gives me the vaguest notion of sweeping dust … I think they tried to tie “sweep” in there. But what about the “iff”? Maybe they just went with a slight bastardization. That’s how the evolution of language works. Still, it’s pretty abstract. And that got me thinking.

What products use the most abstract (and for that matter, bizarre) brand names?

This is an easy one. Modern prescription drugs. Let’s take a look at some.
Viagra.
Prozac.
Claritin.
Zyrtec.
Flonase.
Nexium.
Pez.
Tagamet. Those are the ones I could think of. Some that I found on web sites are:
Prevacid.
Zyban.
Paxil.
Valtrex.
Celebrex.
Lipitor.
Zoloft.
Zyrtec.
Propecia.
Vioxx.
Zocor.

I think the problem with prescription drugs is not only that they’re so complicated, but that they are so abstract and so far removed from tangible life. A tool used to sweep the floor isn’t that far removed from “Swiffer.” But how do you describe a little pill that tastes like nothing that will prevent your sneezing when you go outside? It’s not easy. So I guess companies like Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline have to come up with strange names for their drugs. (Side note #1: Want more strange drug brand names? Take a look at the product pages of Bristol-Myers Squibb, GlaxoSmithKline, Merck, and Pfizer.) (Side note #2 … forget it.)

Then there’s the names of companies themselves. Some articles have already been written on this subject, including an article in Salon.
KPMG becomes (sort of)
Bearing Point. Anderson Consulting becomes
Accenture. AT&T Bell Labs becomes
Lucent. Hewlett-Packard spins off Agilent. Philp Morris becomes Altria with a cute little multicolored square. (But I do like philipmorris.com’s color scheme … might have to steal it. #003366 for a background color makes me feel all tingly.)

Finally, I just want to say that all those links were a pain in the ass. Night.

Brand Names

Tha Juice

Daniel

Got the new page up. It took some work. I don’t know if the new page is great, but I think it’s an improvement over the Green Version, which — strangely enough — is still functional. When I started the project of recreating the site I had something a little different in mind. In fact, the “codename” for the project was Orange Juice. Take a look. It’s scary.

You might notice that I changed the links a little bit. I added links to Oblivion Diaries, WCIFT, and Digital Cluster F***. The link to the homepage is now covered by the Historical Context link because I’ve once again taken to using that moniker for my posts. Let’s face it — the name is just too good to waste.

I also added a small blurb that sits under my name. It loads randomly based on several possibilities.

Unfortunately, I’m still forced to hide the Tripod advertisements. I’m seriously considering plopping down $20 or whatever it takes if it means getting rid of the advertisements. Anyway, you still may occasionally see a drop-down menu floating mysteriously near or even in front of the blurb text. When this happens, I suggest you hit the reload button. (Edit – Ad-free sites cost $4.95 a month. A month! But I had the option of getting stuck with pop-up ads instead of inline ads. If you hate me for serving pop-ups, let me know.- DP)

So that’s about all for now. Let me know what you think about the new design. I would put my email address up, but I’m paranoid about companies scanning web sites for email addresses. I saw a very clever solution to this problem – an image of the text of the email address. Not clickable, maybe not convenient, but very effective.

Tha Juice

Commercial … Games

Daniel

Been avoiding the page a little lately. I’ve been putting a lot of work into the redesign. I can’t get the colors quite right on my sister’s computer. This week I should be able to get my system going, and with PhotoShop I should be able to get the colors more like I want. After I get the colors right, do a background image, and create some corner rounders for the layout boxes, I should be able to go live with the new design.

However, I just filled out a survey for Sony’s PS2 site, and I typed this into a box that asked something like, “What do you think is important in videogames today?” So this is kind of a cheapo post, but it’s a post nonetheless.

The one facet of games today that I feel is suffering is polish. There are some games that miss deadlines, but for the most part it seems that developers try at all costs to deliver games before Christmas or before whatever their deadlines are. I feel that games are released that seem as though they are only 99% or even 95% finished. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City could have used a lot of polish, a lot of finishing touches. Taking damage when you run down stairs, streets popping in as you drive over them … even the clothing system that seemed worthless. But Vice City made it out before November. It could have used another month of development and still had a nice Christmas release. Maybe it should have had more than a single year of development. Of course, PC games can be updated with patches. It looks as though Xbox Live can deliver new levels and characters, and apparently Unreal Championship will release a patch over the Live service. Official magazine demo discs could also provide updates, as was the case with Dead or Alive 3. Unfortunately, a hard drive is a neccessity for complex patches. PS2 doesn’t have a hard drive (yet), but it would probably enable patches to be a viable option. Perhaps PS3 will come with a built-in hard drive. Of course, giving developers the option of releasing patches may make for even more hurried releases. And users without internet access or a broadband connection may be left in the dark even more than they are now in regard to the quality of game releases. This is an interesting problem. Perhaps consumers who purchase M rated games such as Vice City or Unreal Tournament/Championship would be more likely to have Internet/broadband than consumers who purchase E and T rated games. In my experience, M rated games tend to be more complex, and also appear to be most likely to be most in need of a patch. So perhaps patches for M rated games would not only be the most needed, but also the most widely downloaded.

One more thing: Brian Lewis keenly pointed out that the Jordan vs. Jordan commercial that I liked used complex computer special effects, which I derided and plan on deriding more in a future post. Lewis’s comments got me to thinking, and I’ve concluded that it’s not the use of the technology that bothers me, it’s the use of the technology for technology’s sake. Or using the technology just to prove that it can be used. The kid getting sucked into a Pepsi bottle? Kind of stupid, but it was a visual effect that wasn’t possible a couple years ago. The Jordan commercial? It was made so we could see Jordan playing basketball against a younger version of himself. Technology … for art’s sake? I guess that’s good enough for me.

Commercial … Games

Super Bowl Report Card

Daniel

Super Bowl Report Card.
For some categories I’m going to give a letter grade, for some categories I’m going to declare a winner, and … if there’s anything that doesn’t cover, I’ll explain when I get there.

First, the winning team – the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Although the defense let Oakland get close at the end, the Raiders were always several scores away. It never got close, and it was never really even exciting. Tampa Bay’s offense also delivered more than it promised. After Brad Johnson threw a pick on their first possession, he never panicked, and he never looked back.
Bucs’ grade: A

Next, the losing team – the Oakland Raiders. Two words: Five interceptions. In most football games, the team that wins the turnover battle wins the game. That trend continued in Super Bowl XXXVII. Oakland’s defense never impressed, and its NFL ranked #1 offense never generated anything until the game was out of reach. The Raiders scored 21 points, but their only real bright spot was the punt block and touchdown return.
Raiders’ grade: C

Now, Halftime entertainment. First, Shania Twain. From what I could tell, her songs were lip synched. She didn’t look like she was singing, and when her guitarists threw their guitars into the crowd — while the guitar music was still playing — that confirmed it. Also hurting Shania’s grade: She’s a native Canadian, and she moved to Europe.
Shania’s grade: D (Should have been an F, but she’s hot.)

No Doubt. I’ve never been a big No Doubt fan, but they played “Just a Girl,” which is … maybe their biggest song ever. (Brown could correct or confirm me on this.) Their recent music hasn’t been … as good. It hasn’t really been good at all. So what do they do at the Superbowl? They play their best song. Nice move. Gwen Stefani sounded very flat, and a little old, so that didn’t help. But, when I saw that Sting’s band was still No Doubt, I was impressed. When Gwen came out and sang with him, I was very impressed.
No Doubt’s grade: B-

Sting. I’m kind of a Sting fan, which is odd, because I only own one Sting album. Okay, two – but one is his best of album. I like the fact that he teamed up with No Doubt, and I like the fact that he sang “Message in a Bottle.” He’s had some relatively popular songs lately, but I’m not sure he ever had a hit quite as big as some The Police had. Finally, good song choice. He didn’t perform anything inappropriate for the Superbowl, and “Message in a Bottle” seems like it’s not too popluar, but popular enough to be recognized and enjoyed.
Sting’s grade: A

The Commercials. Apparently something like 40% of Superbowl viewers watch not for the game, but for the commercials. These people deserve to be hit over the head with a tack hammer. Anyway. I thought some of the commercials were good, but none were laugh-out-loud funny. I also thought that there were a lot of commercials with prime first half slots that had already aired in the past week or even earlier. One that comes to mind is the “Jordan vs. Jordan” Gatorade commercial. This is a recent trend, and it’s kind of disappointing. Still, I think I watch every year more and more for the game and less and less for the commercials. I’m just not sure I’m in the majority on that one. I also didn’t notice (or can’t remember) any commercials that used complex computer special effects. It’s a relief. Remember the Pepsi commercial from a few years back in which the kid at the beach sucks so hard on the straw in his Pepsi bottle that he sucks himself into the bottle? I thought it was a little much. (This leads me to another question — and possibly another post topic: Ten or twenty years from now, will we look back at film and television and commercials from the 1990s and 2000s and think that computer graphics were overdone?) I did like a few commercials, and I’ll get to them. Overall, I think they did not live up to the best commercial years, which may have coincided with the Bills Superbowls.
Commercials’ grade: C+

Special Award for Merit: Given to ABC Sports for replacing Eric Dickerson with Lynn Swann. Did they switch back to Lynn during this season of Monday Night Football without me noticing? Was Swann there this whole year? Either way, it was a mistake getting rid of Swanny and it was the right move bringing him back.

Best Commercial. This was tough for me. It boiled down to two spots that stood head and shoulders above the rest. My top two commercials were the Matrix Reloaded/Matrix Revolutions commercial (I still fully expect Matrix Revolutions to get pushed back to 2004 after Matrix Reloaded makes a ton of money) and the Reebok commercial featuring Terry Tate, the office worker who acts like a linebacker. It was tought. The Terry Tate ad was the only commercial that I noted based on its own merits. I paid attention to the Matrix commercial because it’s the Matrix and well, M47R1X R0XXORZ!!! The Reebok ad was funny; the Matrix ad was compelling. The Reebok ad was new; the Matrix ad spotlighted new chapters to an existing, but popular, story. So who gets the Iverson Bobblehead?
Best Commercial: Reebok, “Terry Tate”

Finally, I’ve got to rip on Bon Jovi. First, why the hell is there “postgame entertainment”? WTF? Just hand out the trophy, name the MVP, and let’s get to Jennifer Garner in skimpy lingerie! But no, we’ve got to listen to Jon Bon Jovi sing the same song he’s been singing since the Devils won the Stanley Cup almost three years ago. New Jersey sucks! Get over it.

Finally part II. Alias. Yeah, I watched. I wanted to see Jennifer Garner in skimpy outfits. It looks like next week she’s gonna be in a bikini. I’m only human.

PS – I didn’t talk about the music industry like I said I would. I think I’ll add a To Do list. If it’s no good, I’ll get rid of it.

PPS – The Don Cheadle “Playoffs” commercials suck. “They made Joe … Joe.” “They made roman numerals … Roman Numerals.” Don – you were good on Picket Fences, but … get off my TV screen.

Super Bowl Report Card

Little Bit o’ Everything

Daniel

Finally got the Wizards pics up. Yes, those are the Wizards dancers. If I remember correctly, they were wearing blue and white earlier in the game, but came back later wearing black and gold. I think they even changed a second time, into a third outfit that was again black and gold. Go figure.

Not much else to report lately. El Niño is making everything cold. At least El Niño is partially responsible. There’s also the dip of the Arctic air. It comes down every winter, just usually not this far south and this cold.

Soft Batch chocolate chip cookies. Remember when Chewy Chips Ahoy were new? I thought they would be so great — then I tried them. They sucked. I stayed away from soft style store bought chocolate chip cookies from then on. Then during college (note that for me, college is in the past tense), Dan Brown had a bag of Keebler Soft Batch. I assumed, naturally, that they would be no better than Chewy Chips Ahoy. To my delight, I was mistaken. I nearly finished the bag, but Brown pried it away from me. So that brings us up to about three weeks ago. I’m walking through the grocery store, and I didn’t feel like Oreos or standard blue bag Chips Ahoy. So I figured, how about Chewy Chips Ahoy? I’ll bet they’re pretty much the same as Soft Batch. Maybe my tastes weren’t as defined the last time I tried them. Maybe there were drastic improvements in soft stlye cookies over the last decade.

I was wrong. Chewy Chips Ahoy are as bad as ever. I want to say that they contain gelatin. It’s really quite revolting. I couldn’t finish the bag. So the next time I was at the store I cautiously purchased a bag of Soft Batch. Although they didn’t seem as good as the time I first tried them courtesy Dan Brown, they were pretty damn good. I definitely sense a similarity between Chewy Chips Ahoy and Soft Batch, but … Soft Batch is better. Chewy Chips Ahoy are not tolerable. Soft Batch are more than acceptable.

Alright. Drastic change in topic. Social Security Cards. I carry mine. I hate to do it, but sometimes – like when you least expect it – you need it. Like at the DMV. I mean, do you really want to wait in line for eighty minutes just to be told that you’ve got to come back when you’ve got your Social Security Card? And at a recent temp job orientation I had to hand it over with my driver’s license so that both could be photocopied. Granted, it was a government contractor, but … The way the Social Security number is used in this country is ludicrous. All you hear is, “Don’t give it to anybody. For any reason. Ever.”

Bullshit. When I got my cellphone at Radio Shack I had to speack to a Sprint representative on the in-store phone. I had to tell the person on the other end of the line my Social Security number. Meanwhile, any of the seven other people within arm’s reach could just jot it down. Make a credit card purchase over the phone? Better hope the friendly voice makes enough at his or her part time, minimum wage job. Next thing you know, some fifty year old bald guy puts his $10,000 trip to Aruba on your bill. This system stinks! For one thing, the original purpose of the number – retirement benefits for everyone – now amounts to chicken feed, and will likely be dried up by the time people our age retire. So now it’s more of a personal security number. Only problem is, it’s not very secure, and it’s certainly not private.

The solution? Probably bio-identification. Thumbprint scanners and retinal scanners. Maybe even voice recognition. We can send a credit card number over a phone line. Why not a high resolution image of a retina over the Internet? They ran out of phone numbers because of credit card scanners, but IPv6 should mean that we’ll have enough IP addresses to last forever, right? Right?

I think next time I’ll talk about how the record industry is F’ed. Have I talked about that lately? How about I discuss the different industries that have changed drastically or will change drastically because of advances in technology. I’ll start with photography. I’ll include telephony and music. Movies will get thrown in there. Stay tuned.

Little Bit o’ Everything

Today’s News

Daniel

Today’s news:

At Arlington, VA bar Mister Day’s Saturday night, the DJ (or playlist or whatever) played Mark Morrison‘s “Return of the Mack.” If you’re unfamiliar with this song, just know that it’s maybe the single greatest piece of music produced in the last 200 years. But the song played was not just “Return of the Mack.” The song I heard was the extended/piano version. It clocks in, if I remember correctly, at a hefty 5 min 46 sec, rather than the 3 min 43 sec that the standard version lasts. After it was over I jumped on a table and chanted for an encore, but there must have been a problem with the equipment, because my requests went unanswered. Now, to the real world …

Missing pregnant woman Laci Peterson’s husband is looking more and more guilty all the time. When stories like this are in the news the families of the accused always say something like “the police are going after the family because they make the easiest targets.” Of course, statistics show that murders are mostly committed by friends or relatives of the victims. So I suspected the husband from the start and I’m sure the police did, too.

Now George W. Bush is going after Affirmative Action. And he holds the press conference on Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday! What an idiot. I wish Colin Powell would resign over this. Anyway – why do I think Affirmative Action is a good idea? Well, Bush says that A.A. doesn’t treat people equally, which was MLK’s goal. Except MLK’s goal wasn’t for people to be treated equally — it was for people to exist equally. To live equally. Blacks and whites in this nation do not live equally. Ask yourself some questions: Who is more likely to be considered a second class citizen – A black person or a white person? Who is more likely to be dead by the age of 22 – A black male or a white male? Who is more likely to be an officer of a Fortune 500 company? – A black person or a white person? Who is more likely to be on the janitorial staff of a Fortune 500 company? – A black person or a white person? Who is more likely to be President of the United States? – A black person or a white person?

The inequality does not exist because of the way whites are treated and the way blacks are treated. One problem that I am less qualified to say exists for certain is a cycle of violence. Violence breeds violence, and a lot of young black men are killed by other young black men. But violence also rises from despair and poverty.

Take note of this. Despair and poverty breed violence. It happens in the United States, and it happens in the Middle East. It happens everywhere. One of the factors that contributes to poverty is lack of education. (Note: I spent about twenty minutes trying to find an atricle or study on the internet to back this up, but I couldn’t really find anything solid. However, if you go to Google and search for “literacy rate” “crime rate”, you’ll see a lot of tourist crap telling you to visit Australia or retire in Guatemala because they have low crime rates and high literacy rates.) The worst schools in the US are found for the most part in inner city neighborhoods. Most of the people who live in inner city neighborhoods are black. Therefore, the children in this country who are getting the worst education are black. Additionally, a lot of violence occurs in inner city neighborhoods, discouraging quality teachers from taking jobs there. Again, there is a cycle here:

Violence discourages education. Poor education produces poverty. Poverty leads to violence. Repeat.

It’s a little more complicated than 2+2=4, and I think that’s why it’s possible for politicians to dance around it with such ease. (For instance, W. has suggested a plan to replace Affirmative Action. He calls it “Affirmative Access.” You know, I could take a shit in a pie tin, call it Sprinkleberry Pie, and says it’s a great alternative to Blueberry Pie, but you know what? It’s still just a bunch of shit. That’s what Affirmative Access is. Its name makes it sound like it’s similar to Affirmative Action, but it’s basically just a bunch of shit.) Also, people who aren’t educated tend not to vote as often or write letters to their Congressmen. Or write checks to their Congressmen.

Apologies for not using the term “African American.” It’s easier to type “black,” plus I kind of think “African American” is an inaccurate term. And it’s no more appropriate that the phrase “European American.”

What else. Lewis emailed me with assistance for that table a few posts down. With his advice I managed to get it looking just how I wanted it. Thank you, Brian.

Finally, I went to the Washington Wizards game Saturday when they hosted the Philadelphia 76ers. The Sixers got ’em, but I didn’t particularly care who won. I took about sixty pictures, and tomorrow I plan on cropping the best and posting them here.

Until next time, keep it real.

Today’s News

Fourth Straight Day of Posts

Daniel

Four straight days of posts.

Today’s first topic: War on Iraq. Watching CNN today, I heard some things that I had kind of forgotten about, and I remembered what I think about going to war with Iraq. I’m one of those people that think we should have gotten rid of Saddam Hussein in 1991. I’m also one of those people that thinks that if Saddam Hussein is a legitimate threat now, we should get rid of him. I also think that he probably is, in fact, a legitimate threat. But, like most of the citizens of Europe, I want proof that he’s a threat. I want to know why George W. Bush is so hell bent on sending in the troops. Frankly, I think there is a reason. But if we go in and the world still doesn’t know why, I won’t like it.

Today Colin Powell indicated that by the end of this month, the evidence will be there. We’ll see.

Topic two: Hot and Spicy Chex Mix? Don’t buy them. They should be called hot and tasteless.

Fourth Straight Day of Posts

Three Days, Three Updates

Daniel

Three days. Three updates.

I’ve been doing some thinking on the “War on Terror.” I think it’s got all the makings of a Second Cold War. For one, the way I often think of the first Cold War is as a time of paranoia, of worry over the threat of war. It was also a time of sides. Nations were either on the side of the Commies, the Reds, the Iron Curtain, or they were on the side of the US of A, the West, NATO. Finally, it was a time of an economy weakened by all the money spent on military escalation, with no political resolution to assuage the anxiety.

Now, we again have all those factors. National worry and paranoia. The possibility of war. The new sides are still a little blurry, especially with nations like Saudi Arabia and even Turkey riding the fence a bit. But a few possibilities are: The US vs everyone else; The Muslim world vs everyone else; Al Qaeda vs everyone else; The US, Britain, and Israel vs the rest of the Middle East; etc, etc. Things are still shaking out. I think it’ll still be a while before we see what Afghanistan is going to look like in the long term. And Iraq might look totally different politically in a year. Or, it might look exactly the same. I suppose another possibility of Us vs Them could be US vs Independent Rogue Nation A, US vs Independent Rogue Nation B, US vs Independent Rogue Nation C. Wait — I forgot. George Bush already summed up every possibility I’ve listed here. The US vs the Axis of Evil.

We managed to get from 1991 to 2001 with no Cold War. And it was also a time when we had a pretty good economy. Now we’re right back in Cold War mode: weakened economy due to military escalation and an economy waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Three Days, Three Updates

Two Updates in Two Days

Daniel

That’s right. Two updates in two days.

Made some editorial changes to last night’s post. Just a few words and one sentence. If Lewis doesn’t tell me how to fix that table, it ain’t gonna get fixed.

Back to Bush’s stimulus package. It’s supposed to lift the stock market. That’s a nice idea, but the stock market is more of a de facto indicator of how the economy is going. The stock market is not the economy itself. Additionally, money put into the stock market is money invested. Money invested is money not spent. Money not spent makes for a slow economy. A slow economy is a bad economy.

Additionally, what percentage of Americans make their spending decisions based on the last month’s change in the Dow Jones Industrial Average? Maybe zero. Like I said — the stock market is a gauge of the economy. It’s not the other way around.

Hoo … getting tired again. Too much thinking of late? Or four and a half years of not thinking enough?

Two Updates in Two Days